Blogger ate my post!

That's bizarre. I just lost a post. Can't find it anywhere. And I can't find a backup copy either.

Oh well. Basically, the gist of it was this:

Democrats in Texas know they can't win playing by the rules.

They made up some bogus charges against Tom DeLay. And then, rather than agreeing on a time for him to turn himself in as is the standard for most white-collar crimes, they jumped right to issuing an arrest warrant.

DeLay handled it with more style than any other political prisoner in the history of our country. Considering how much the democraps know about political prisoners, with their role model for everything being the USSR, the way DeLay played them is nothing short of amazing.

Instead of turning himself into his home county of Fort Bend, or Travis County where the phony charges were filed, he went to Harris County, where they just stopped putting numbers at the bottom of mugshots. That was smooth move number one.

Smooth move number two was this.

Seriously, how can anyone not love what he did there? Perfect hair, perfect suit, House of Representatives lapel pin, and a great big grin. The kind of smile that beams "innocence rays" into the public's minds.

The demoncrats wanted the OJ Mugshot.

Instead, they got a picture that blends in seamlessly with the rest of DeLay's own publicity photos.

If I were him, I'd use that picture in my own campaign ad. Just to rub the democraps' noses in their own mess.

That man is smooth.


That about covers it. Though I really would like to know where my original post went.

Wouldn't it be funny if the voice of God turned out to sound like Gilbert Gottfried?

The Speaker of the House has a Blog.

Anne Rice found Jesus.

Sulu is gay.

This has been a fairly surprising week.

If I could have one wish...

It would be for all the rap "musicians" to kill each other until there are only a handful left, and then for the last few to be arrested and executed.

If I had a mind control device, this would be the first thing I'd do with it.

If I had a billion dollars, I'd move to a country with no extradition treaty and then spend most of it on assassinations to this end.

I hate rap "music."

What The Kip has been doing for fun lately...

Go check out the Star Wars Wiki. Definitely on the list of the top 50 greatest things in the history of all things. I'm a regular contributor under the name "Darth Culator." (My user page there has an excellent picture of me).
Name sound familiar? It should.
And I just realized I haven't updated my Blog template in 4 months. Gotta go fix that now.


I need to learn how to dust.
Every time I clean my bedroom, massive quantities of dust are kicked up.
Maybe there's a mummy hiding under my bed. I wouldn't know. I never look under there.
Right now, my mucus is an odd grey color.


I have decided that I'm never going to shave my beard, ever. Because I don't have to keep up with the number of blades there are on razors.
Last time I was completely clean-shaven, they were only up to 3. What are they selling now? 5 blades? 7? 42? I don't need to care. I set the comb on my beard trimmer to 4 clicks, run it around my face for a while, and I'm done.


I've decided to name my main computer Landru, until I come up with a better name.


Kurt Vonnegut is a douchebag. It's important that everyone know that.


Jerry Kilgore is running the funniest campaign commercial ever

Is it possible to lose the ability to whistle? I seem to be having undue difficulty with it lately.

The Lockheed C-5 Galaxy can hold up to 291,000 pounds of cargo. In visual terms, try to imagine 100 Volkswagen Beetles packed into a giant toothpaste tube.

This logically leads to my latest Evil plan:
1. Recruit an army of illegal immigrants to fill water balloons with peanut butter.
2. Load up 250,000 pounds of peanut butter balloons on a C-5.
3. Drop them on the Capitol.


If I had a billion dollars, I would never go anywhere except by helicopter or balloon. I would have both a helicopter and balloon on standby at all times. If I ran out of cookies at 1:00 in the morning, I'd have the helicopter fly me over the 7-11, and if the parking lot wouldn't accommodate a helicopter I'd just put on a harness and have them lower me to the door on a cable. I'd take the balloon if I wasn't in a hurry.


Apparently, pythons are stupid.


Finally, does anyone believe this person is related to me?

That's my sister. Allegedly based on the same source code as me. Unbelievable, isn't it? Looks like they worked out most of the obvious bugs in version 2.0.

"I'm not sure if it's 'jogging' or 'yogging.' It might be a soft 'j.'" -- Ron Burgundy


Little known facts:
• Star Wars as we know it may never have existed if Dino DeLaurentiis hadn't turned down George Lucas's offer to direct a Flash Gordon movie.


• "Nok" is the name or abbreviation for three totally unrelated things: The Norwegian Krone, the stock symbol for Nokia, and an ancient West African civilization.


• The Romanian navy has one submarine. It doesn't work.
The US Navy has, officially, 73 subs in commission, 4 being refitted, 3 under construction, 2 on order, and Bob only knows how many in reserve status.